Saturday, April 9, 2016

8.319 The Past is the Past

As I write this, I'm thinking about some old emails I read just a few moments earlier. I have a few email addresses, one for social media, one for personal, and one for junk mail. The email I have for my junk mail is the oldest one of the three. Before it became the email for junk mail, I had used it for my personal one. The oldest emails on there were some emails from school, ones I sent to friends and a couple to my ex-boyfriend (emails dating far back to when we were just friends).

When you generally reflect back on your life, there are probably many things you regret saying or doing. I know some people say they don't regret anything, but I'm sure somewhere along the way, there was at least one thing you wish you could take back. I've got plenty haha. After briefly skimming through some of my old emails, I could really tell how young I was. Emails that were suppose to be more formal (ie. to my teacher) sounded as if I took a recording of myself talking and had the computer type it down for me word for word. I even added emojis--OMG. Could that be more embarrassing?

Then there were the emails I sent to a childhood friend of mine. Some of the things I said made me cringe. I think when you're young, you don't have a good sense of a "filter". You tend to not filter out as much as you should about your thoughts on people or things, and as a result, you don't realize that you were being insensitive or that you could have re-worded or omitted a few things.

And of course, lastly... emails to my former. I deleted the bad ones a long time ago but missed a couple ones from when we were emailing each other as just friends. Thinking back to the people I had in my life then, I am so thankful that's in the past and that I'm where I am now. When you're in the moment, you kind of forget that there's a tomorrow. At the time, I was surrounded by people who were a bit older than me; and because I was younger, I figured that they must know more than me. But now that I've finally reached that point, I realize that not every adult is more knowledgeable nor wise.

As an adult you're suppose to have some level of understanding that a young person doesn't know as much as you. But you should never look down on them just because you've already gone through what they're going through. Experience is the way of life, and everyone will find themselves at a different level going at a different speed. Never let anyone make you feel less than you are. As the saying goes, "Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself" -Tom Wilson.

There are some things that aren't meant to be re-visited. However, even though those emails made my insides twist a little, it really showed me how much I've grown since my early 20s. Some people are afraid of the future, but I look forward to it!

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." -Socrates