Friday, October 17, 2014

6.242 Blowing Off Some Steam

Of course, silly me, I should never forget where I come from and the fact that I still reside in that place. I'm honestly just frustrated with the fact that my mom is completely not understanding and how there is nothing her kids could ever do that could ever please her. I get it, I have an Asian mom, it's what Asian parents are like. Get over it, right? But when your parents think that you somehow owe them for being born, think that they somehow own you, and constantly remind you of that, it makes you go a little crazy- okay, let's be honest, it can make you go really crazy.

It also doesn't help that I get no recognition or appreciation for anything when I do help out. It's constant nagging, nagging, and more nagging. A continuous fire of ridicule and negative comments that puts me down.

The worst part? My mom has horrendous memory, which means she can't take any responsibility for how she treated me, for how she is treating me, and will never know why I am the way I am. If you can't even own up or be sorry for what you did, how could I ever forgive you? I'm just frustrated because she can't remember or recognize that her negative comments are unnecessary and not appreciated.

Let's be honest, I'm not proud that I'm working a minimum wage job, but at least I have one. And just because I worked my a** off one week and got a "big pay cheque" doesn't mean I'm a bad person if I don't give over more than what I already do, because hey, I am allowed to buy nice things for myself and I have a future and I'm trying to make a life too.

Trying to stay positive but sometimes... sometimes it's hard.

"The reason why people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was and the present worse than it is." -Unknown