I promise I will be back with a more interesting post but today is just another day where I feel the need to blow off some steam. I think sometimes you need to let it all out via somewhere you feel heard instead of to someone because there are times when you don't need feedback, you just want someone to listen.
As I am sitting and typing, I feel pretty relaxed because it's relatively calm and quiet where I am. The window is open allowing a light cool summer breeze to come through, the birds are chirping, and I can hear some wind chimes from my neighbour's backyard.
The issues I'm having is with my mom and her opinions. I remember talking to a coworker with mine about a related issue and she said something to me that I constantly try to remind myself of: It's my life. I've been raised to always respect my elders, but respect and having to listen and follow everything they say are two different things- which isn't at all apparent to her because they think it is one and the same thing. If I don't listen I'm a bad "kid" (quotations because I'm way past childhood but she doesn't seem to notice except when it's convenient to use in an argument). If I listen to what she says and it doesn't work out, that's just the cards I'm dealt with. But if I make my own mistakes, I will never hear the end of it.
I think my mom forgets that this is my life and the choices I make are ones I am happy to live with- even if they turn out to be mistakes. It's not about being wiser and trying to protect the younger generation from everything you've learned in life. It's about letting them learn from their own mistakes because that's how lessons stick. I would rather live with more of my own mistakes than to have to live with fewer mistakes that weren't a result of my own choosing. My life isn't a vessel for some do-over or needs to be questioned with every step I take. This isn't about her and her opinions or what she thinks is best. It's about ME and what I want for myself.
"You have to do what is right for you, no one walks in your shoes." -Unknown